Everything I Need to Know I Learned from the Brothers Grimm

I just finished the translation of the original edition of the famous fairy tales. I’m now equipped for anything life can throw at me. My takeaways:

1) When you set out to seek your fortune, it’s best to be clever and industrious. However, if you’re foolish and lazy, but not actually mean, you might still have a shot.
2) Be kind to animals, except when they ask you to cut off their heads.
3) You should also chop the heads off evil giants, dragons, and other nuisances. But make sure you keep their tongues (see #4), though exactly where you should keep them, I have no idea.
4) Princesses are generally trustworthy. Brothers, not so much.
5) If you accidentally overhear a password that opens a magical door, write it down.
6) Unicorns are not cute. They’re actually an exotic, invasive species that can cause a lot of destruction. At a minimum, they must be trapped and removed. Worst case, see #3.
7) Spells may be put on anyone at any time for any reason, or no reason at all. They can be broken in any number of ways. Try having somebody slap you, kiss you, or do something–anything–three times. The only sure way to not break a spell is to do nothing.
8) Death is just another spell.

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